


cadenza

by krystallisert



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/M, Moving On, Pining, Romance, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-07
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:15:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23525992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/krystallisert/pseuds/krystallisert
Summary: Hajima Iwaizumi used to think the lack of a mark could be as much of a hint as the presence of one.a da capo sequelcadenza (noun ca·den·za | \ kə-ˈden-zə  \): a technically brilliant sometimes improvised solo passage toward the close of a concerto
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Reader
Comments: 7
Kudos: 90





	cadenza

**cadenza**

_noun_ ca·den·za | \ kə-ˈden-zə \

: a parenthetical flourish in an aria or other solo piece commonly just before a final or other important cadence

: a technically brilliant sometimes improvised solo passage toward the close of a concerto

: an exceptionally brilliant part of an artistic and especially a literary work

* * *

Hajime Iwaizumi used to think that the lack of a mark could be as much an indicator as the presence of one. In the back of his mind he imagined himself meeting someone like-minded, someone who could truly understand how it felt to be left out, to be guideless and blindly searching. He thought that if there was meaning to the marks, surely there had to be a reason he was left without. 

He stares at the wedding invitation. He’s not so sure anymore. 

For a while, Iwaizumi has been living in a daze; a sort of blissful denial that helps him move on and stay focused. First, he tells himself that he’s just hit an Oikawa-shaped roadblock - it would not be the first time - and that Oikawa is such a glutton for self-sabotage that he doesn’t really have to worry about it. When that plan falls through, he merely convinces himself he didn’t really care anyways. About soulmates, or marks, or the person he somehow imagined he was supposed to be with. He’s had crushes before, this one will pass just the same.

But then there’s the damn invitation, quietly taunting him from its spot on the kitchen counter. And even as resourceful as Iwaizumi is, he does not have a Plan C. 

The invitation lies unopened for the first couple of days as Iwaizumi cycles through self-pity, anger and self-loathing. There’s a brief moment after a beer too many where he considers just throwing the wretched thing in the garbage and pretending he didn’t get it. As if he could just ignore it and Oikawa’s request he’ll be his best man. As if he can just pretend none of it is even happening. 

He cries more than he’s willing to admit, spends whole days in his bed. It feels as if he’s grieving; his heart ripping at the seams and sending painful jolts of hurt and anguish through his body. It’s an entirely physical thing, and Iwaizumi wonders if he’s even strong enough to handle it. While brushing his teeth in the morning, he wonders if he’s strong enough to handle it. Browsing facebook and looking at all the congratulatory posts on Oikawa’s feed, he wonders if he’s strong enough to handle it. And so it goes. For weeks, he lives in this space between denial and heartbreak. He lives in it so wholeheartedly that when the ache finally soothes, he can’t even be sure if he noticed it starting to happen. 

Iwaizumi looks at Oikawa in his neat suit. The ache is still there; making its presence known with gentle but persistent squeezes at his heart. He's not sure he's completely ready for this, not sure if he's able to handle it.

He figures he just has to be.


End file.
